Create your living will and advance care directives
Living wills go by different names in different states. These include: living will form, advance health care directive, advance directive, and advance medical directive. Many states do not require you to have the document notarized, it’s a good idea to do so anyway.
A living will communicates your end of life wishes if you are unable to speak for yourself.
The laws that define living will vary from state to state, but like wills, living wills must be signed by you and by two adult witnesses.
Living will vs. durable power of attorney for healthcare?
Both a living will and a durable healthcare Power of Attorney (POA) allow you to name someone you trust to make medical choices for you. Here’s the difference:
Your living will addresses your wishes for end-of-life care.
A durable power of attorney for healthcare names someone who can make all other health care decisions if you are unable to speak for yourself. This can happen during an illness or surgery. It does not cover end-of-life care.
What is in a living will?
Questions you’ll want your living will to answer are:
What qualifies as a meaningful quality of life?
How much disability am I ok with?
How well would I need to get to want to stay alive?
What is most important to me about end-of-life care?
What is not acceptable to me?
How do I write my wishes?
Now it’s time to get specific. You’ll want to think about filling in statements like these:
I want to be able to __________, if life is no longer worth living to me.
I want to be able to verbally communicate, but if cannot, I’d like to stay alive so long as I can ________.
I want to know who is in the room and engage in the world .
My goal is to live ___ long enough to make it to xxx’s wedding.
I want to be able to __________, if that isn’t there then life is no longer worth living to me.
I hate the ventilator and never want to do that again.
If there is no way I can ever go home and have to be institutionalized or nursing home with no chance of getting better, then______.
Everything you wanted to know about livings wills and were afraid to ask.
Watch this talk by Co-Founder Chanel Reynolds.
How to start the conversation
While saying “hey baby, tell me about your end of life wishes” may not be the sexiest pillow talk, most people actually find it opens up a rich and intimate conversation. Often, everyone is relieved afterward, but getting there can feel a little awkward.
Invite one: Ellen Goodman, Co-Founder & Director of The Conversation Project says, “… having a conversation on values — what matters to you, not what‘s the matter with you." Check out their great Conversation Kit.
Talk to Family: Watch the video of Tom and Jennifer Brokaw on Living Wills and Advance Care Directives as they discuss how unequipped many of us leave our loved ones to make decisions for us.
Set the table: Talk on comfortable turf, says Let’s Have Dinner and Talk about Death founder Michael Hebb once asked, “Do you think that how we end our lives is the most important and costly conversation America is not having?” The answer started an international campaign to come together and have a “death dinner.
Watch bestselling author, funeral director, and advocate Caitlin Doughty of The Order of the Good Death give the best breakdown of a living will, ever.